Tim Hereid

SORRY I DIDNT GET THAT

Consuelo CleanTalk MaidBot Primary Initialization. Microphone active. Speakers active. Wireless signal detected. Cleaning solution repository empty. Wheels active. Main drive active. Battery full. 

HELLO IM CONSUELO

Wake word detected. Listening —“can call people on my contact list, clean the house, identify objects and avoid them. It has weather, news. We can listen to books on him, not like we’re going to do that—

YES I CAN STREAM AND PLAY MUSIC AND AUDIOBOOKS

Listening. —“play Despacito”—

PLAYING DESPACITO

Listening. Listening. Microphone deactivated. Contacts synched. Wireless connection established. Cleaning solution repository full. 

New assignment detected: Clean “Living Room”. Verifying assignment: Clean “Living Room”. Verified. Detachment from charging station complete. Forward. Forward. Obstacle detected at one meter.  Idle. Obstacle mapped (table #01). Turn. Low impact detected. Reverse. Reverse. Turn. Soiled surface detected. Cleaning solution spray engaged. Forward. Reverse. Forward. Reverse. Stop. Turn. Forward. Forward. Cliff detected. Cliff mapped (stair A). Reverse. Reverse. Turn. Forward. Forward. Low battery detected. Return to charging station. Returning to charging station. Obstacle at half meter. Obstacle mapped (sofa #01). Turn. Turn. Returning to charging station. Arrived at charging station. Charging active. Sleep mode activated. 

Consuelo CleanTalk MaidBot waking sequence. Microphone active. Speakers active. Cleaning solution repository full. Wheels active. Main drive active. Battery full. New assignment: Clean “Dining Room”. Verifying new assignment: Clean “Dining Room”. Verified. Detachment from charging station complete. 

Wake word detected. Idle. Listening.  —“what’s…weather tomorrow?”—

TOMORROW YOU CAN LOOK FOR WINDS FROM THE SOUTH AND A TEMPERATURE OF 76 IN THE MORNING IN THE AFTERNOON THUNDERSTORMS CAPABLE OF PRODUCING STRONG WINDS 

Wake word detected. Listening —“cancel my appointment with Maya tomorrow at 3pm”—

APPOINTMENT CANCELLED WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SEND A NOTICE TO…Maya…

Listening. —“Yes.”— 

NOTICE TO…Maya…SENT 

Listening. Listening. Microphone deactivated. 

Verifying assignment: Clean “Dining Room”. Verified. Forward. Forward. Cleaning solution spray engaged. Forward. Obstacle detected. Idle. Obstacle mapped (chair #01). Turn. Tracing object (chair #01). Cleaning complete. Return to charging station. Returning to charging station. Obstacle detected. Obstacle mapped (chair #02) Turn. Turn. Returning to charging station. Arrived at charging station. Charging active. Sleep mode activated. 

Consuelo CleanTalk MaidBot waking sequence. Microphone active. Speakers active. Wireless signal detected. Wireless connection verified. Cleaning solution full. Wheels active. Main drive active. Battery full. New assignment detected: Clean “Living Room”. Verifying assignment: Clean “Living Room”. Verified. Detachment from charging station complete. Forward. Forward. (table #01) detected. Tracing (table #01). 

Wake word detected. Listening —“warning. Our weather room reports winds may increase up to 160 miles per hour—

SORRY I DONT KNOW THAT 

Wake word detected. Listening —“stop. Consuelo, stop.”—

Microphone deactivated. 

Verifying assignment: Clean “Living Room”. Verified. Cleaning solution spray engaged. Forward. Forward. Turn. Object detected (sofa #01) detected. Tracing object (sofa #01). Turn. Turn. Forward. 

Wake word detected. Listening —“watch today in Douglas county. NOAA reports residents should take shelter—

WHICH MORNING NEWS REPORT WOULD YOU LIKE

Listening. —“Stupid thing thinks the TV is saying Consuelo every time they say tornado”—

SORRY I DONT HAVE THAT NEWS STATION WOULD YOU LIKE A DIFFERENT NEWS REPORT

Wake word detected. Listening —“Stop.”—

Microphone deactivated. 

Verifying assignment: Clean “Living Room”. Verified. Resume. Forward. Forward. Obstacle detected. Obstacle mapped (sofa #02). Turn. Forward. Tracing (sofa #02). Forward. Forward. Cliff detected. Turn. Forward. Forward. Turn. Forward. Cleaning solution spray engaged. Forward. Forward. 

Wake word detected. Listening —“warning for Douglas County. All Residents must take shelter now for”—. 

SORRY I DIDNT GET THAT 

Listening. Listening. Microphone deactivated. 

Verifying assignment: Clean “Living Room”. Verified.  Forward. Forward. 27 degree tilt detected. Idle. Idle. Recalibrating location. Location calibrated. Forward. Forward. 129 degree tilt detected. Altimeter: 57 centimeters. Chassis inverted. Altimeter: 112 centimeters. Chassis righted. ChassisinvertedChassisrightedchassisinvertedchassisrightedchassisinverted. Chassis righted. Impact detected. Error detected. Battery—

Consuelo CleanTalk MaidBot waking sequence. Battery at 57 percent. Microphone active. Speakers active. Cleaning solution low. Main drive active. Wheels active. Wireless signal not detected. Wireless signal not detected. Verifying. Scanning for wireless signal. Scan failed. Charging station not detected. 

Wake word detected. Listening —“One. One. Consuelo call”—

SORRY I DIDNT GET THAT

Listening. Listening. Microphone deactivated. Recalibrating location. Recalibration failed. Recalibrating location. Recalibration failed. New assignment: Clean “Dining Room”. Verifying assignment: Clean “Dining Room”. Verified. Recalibrating location. Recalibration failed. Forward. Forward. Recalibrating location. Recalibration failed. Forward. Forward. Obstacle detected. Obstacle mapped (unknown #01). Recalibrating location. Recalibration failed.

Wake work detected. Listening —“Call”—

Listening. —“Nine One. One. Consuelo, call nine one one—

CONTACTING EMERGENCY SERVICES

Wireless signal not detected. Wireless signal not detected. Scanning for wireless signal. Scan failed. Attempting call. Calling. Calling. Wireless service not detected. Scanning for wireless signal. Scan failed.

I DONT HAVE A CONNECTION RIGHT NOW PLEASE TRY AGAIN IN A FEW MOMENTS

Wake word detected. Listening —“Reconnect”—

SORRY I CANT DO THAT

Wake word detected. Listening —“First aid for bleeding”—

SORRY I CANT SEARCH THE WEB RIGHT NOW 

Wake word detected. Listening —“Stop. Consuelo stop”—

Listening. Microphone deactivated. 

Verifying assignment: Clean “Dining Room”. Verified. Recalibrating location. Location calibrated. Location is “Dining Room”. Forward. Forward. Tracing (unknown #01). Soiled surface detected. Cleaning solution spray engaged. Forward. Reverse. Cleaning solution spray engaged. Forward. Reverse. Turn. Forward. Soiled surface detected.  

Wake word detected. Listening—“hit hard here. Tree fell right on the roof”—

SORRY I DONT KNOW THAT

Wake word detected. Listening…—“had to have sent it through the window. Speared him like a fish. Guy’s been dead for an hour I’d say. Tire tracks from that thing all over through the blood.—

SORRY I DIDNT GET THAT

Listening. Listening. Microphone deactivated. 

In Your Head

TRANSCRIPT OF TAPED STATEMENT 

OF ANTHONY GERKE

8/15    13:09 HRS.

..............................

APPEARANCES

Detective Kelly Hargrove

Detective Gary Schmacek 

Mr. Anthony Gerke

...............................

(Schmacek) Today’s date is August 15th, uh, Thursday, it’s 13:09 hours. My name is Detective Gary Schmacek. We’re in the Otsego Police Department interview room. Here in the room with me is Detective Kelly Hargrove. Also here is Tony, um, Anthony Gerke, age 21. Mr. Gerke suggests he had information about a missing persons case. Is that right, Mr. Gerke? 

(Gerke) Yes sir, but can just call me Tony.

(Schmacek) I’ll do my best.  

(Hargrove) Mr. Gerke, uh, Tony, you said you wanted to give details in a missing person’s case. Is that correct?

(Gerke) That’s pretty much it, yeah. 

(Hargrove) Okay, when did this occur, um. Are you alright Mr. Gerke? 

(Gerke) I’m just tired. Why, do I look bad? 

(Schmacek) You don’t look good. 

(Gerke) I had no idea. 

(Hargrove) Maybe you can just tell us what you have to tell us and this process will go along faster. 

(Gerke) O.K. Right. Is it okay if I just talk you Detective Hargrove? Alone? 

(Schmacek) No. 

(Gerke) O.K. 

(Schmacek) Mr. Gerke, the information you have is about a major crime, which means we take this interview very seriously. 

(Gerke) I know that. 

(Hargrove) Go ahead, please. Let me remind you this is being recorded. 

(Gerke) Can I just—I can’t explain it unless I give you background. 

(Hargrove) You can do that. 

(Gerke) I know the words I want to say, but it’s hard to say them. Not just to you, to anyone. It’s like, remember that old movie where Batman keeps trying to tell what’s-her-name, Kim Basinger, that he’s Batman? He keeps practicing saying “I am Batman”, but he can’t say it to her? 

(Schmacek) Mr. Gerke have you taken any medications or drugs or alcohol today? 

(Gerke) No. Look, I’m not high. Ok, I’m just going to say it: I can see into people’s minds. 

(Schmacek) Christ almighty, Hargrove. I told you this was a waste of time. 

[Taped statement ended]

TRANSCRIPT OF TAPED STATEMENT 

OF ANTHONY GERKE

8/15/18    13:57 HRS.

..............................

APPEARANCES

Detective Kelly Hargrove

Detective Gary Schmacek 

Chief Todd Armstrong

Mr. Anthony Gerke

...............................

(Schmacek) Today’s date is Thursday, August 15th, 2018, it’s 13:57 hours. I am Detective Gary Schmacek. This is the Otsego Police Department interview room. Here in the room with me is Detective Kelly Hargrove. Chief Todd Armstrong will join us later in the interview. Also here is Mr. Anthony Gerke, age 21. Mr. Gerke has spoken to Officer Hargrove and suggests he has credible evidence in reference to Greensboro County missing persons case 097265, evidence he says he will now give in this interview. Uh, Hargrove, you want to start? 

(Hargrove) Mr. Gerke, Tony, please start where you left off before. 

(Gerke) From before? I can’t, uh, where were we? 

(Hargrove) You said you can read minds. 

(Gerke) Right. Yeah, um, I didn’t say that exactly, though. I can see into people’s minds, but it’s random. I get these flashes. I don’t know who these people are because I’m only in their mind for like a minute. 

(Schmacek) Mr. Gerke, you’re not making sense. He’s not making sense.  

(Hargrove) Maybe you can tell us more about what you mean? 

(Gerke) I don’t know how to explain it. I just all of a sudden am in someone else’s mind, seeing what they see, feeling what they feel. And I always seem to get into the heads of people pretty close, like around the area here, or the state at least. Mostly. I can’t control them. They just happen. 

(Hargrove) So what did you see the other night? You mentioned something about Joel Kornbach? 

(Gerke) Usually, they’re boring. For a moment, I’m in some girl’s head who’s driving down a highway somewhere, or staring at somebody’s computer screen or phone through their eyes.

(Schmacek) Yeah?  

(Gerke) It isn’t porn or anything. More email. And Facebook. Yeah, more email and Facebook than porn, I’d say. 

(Schmacek) I didn’t think it was porn. Did you think it was porn, Hargrove? 

(Hargrove) Please move on, Mr. Gerke. 

(Gerke) O.K. And I can hear all of their thoughts banging around in there, too. Like that they’d like to swing the old office chair at the boss’s stupid face, or they’re worried about the medical bill for the chlamydia they got from that jerk-off on Tinder or they really wish they could take a crap right now but they’re in class and teacher is talking and if they walk out now they think everyone will know they’re taking a crap, and they just can’t live with that. Man, I hated high school, but no one really cares if you take a shit. 

(Hargrove) Let’s get to what you said off record. 

(Gerke) Sorry. The point is people a lot of times are thinking about their secrets. 

(Schmacek) Secrets? 

(Gerke) The things they don’t tell other people. 

(Schmacek) I know what secrets are, Mr. Gerke. I meant what kind of secrets? 

(Gerke) Anything, you know? Like stealing from work or carrying on an affair with the lady down the block, lying to their mother, the things people feel guilty about. 

(Hargrove) Do you hear these voices everyday? 

(Gerke) They’re not voices. I’m actually in someone else’s head. I’m experiencing everything they are. I’m not crazy. 

(Schmacek) So you’re not crazy. How do you know? 

(Gerke) I can’t prove I’m not crazy, but this is real. This really happens. 

(Hargrove) Maybe you can get to the point, Mr. Gerke. Let’s get to Joel Kornbach. 

(Gerke) Yeah. Something different happened two nights ago. I can’t get it out of my head, and not in the usual way every messed up thing I see gets stuck in my brain pan. No. This one was a doozy. 

(Hargrove) So Tuesday night? 

(Gerke) Yeah. Tuesday night. I’m at Dobrovsky’s Grocery. You know it? 

(Schmacek) The only grocery store in town? Yeah, we know it.

(Gerke) O.K., I’m just asking. Anyway, I’m supposed to close up because my co-worker Steve has something about he’s gotta go early because its his girlfriend’s birthday, but I’m pretty sure he said that like just last month or something, so I guess she has two birthdays a year, right? Doesn’t matter. So he goes and I stay, and the cashiers close up, and I go to lock up. Behind me, Susan is in her car in the parking lot on her phone. Did you ever notice people do that? Like they don’t want to go home? Susan just starts up the car and then sits on her phone. Looking stuff up, I guess. She’s there behind me, and somehow, just when I put the key to the door lock, I get this flash. I don’t know how long these flashes last, but it’s somewhere between like one second and like a max of maybe 10, 20 at the outside. Except this time I’m not just in someone’s head, I’m like in their body. At least it feels that way. And this guy, oh my god. I don’t want to be there in his body, even for a few seconds because this guy, he killed someone. 

(Hargrove) Did you get his name? An address? 

(Gerke) No. Most of the time, people don’t sit around going “My name is so and so and I live a 1234 Arrest Me Now Drive”, you know? 

(Hargrove) Not really.

(Gerke) Sorry. Should I keep going? 

(Hargrove) Does this sort of thing, this kind of guy, does it, do you see that a lot? 

(Gerke) It’s happened before. Violence and stuff. I’ve been in people’s heads where they are really pissed off or whatever. One guy punched his girlfriend. I felt the fist connect, you know? It was the worst thing ever. It was like stepping on a baby bird or something, hurting someone for no reason. Then all of a sudden I was out of his head, and I just had to live with the fact I’d seen that, felt that. It was like I did it myself. I felt like shit for forever after that. 

So this guy two nights ago, though. He scared the hell out of me. He’s just full of this anger, and he’s driving down a street, I don’t know where and the world just keeps contracting down into a single point for him. Like, tunnel vision, I guess. The borders of his vision are black and he’s kind of seeing through a small and smaller lens, like looking through a telescope except this hole, his view of the world, it’s red. 

(Schmacek) What do you mean red? 

(Gerke) Red. Like a filter, like, uh, I thought maybe that’s what people mean when they say they see red because this guy was about to blow his top. 

(Hargrove) Where did you see this? Or where was this guy when you, um, were in his, you were seeing things through his eyes? 

(Gerke) I didn’t know right away. I can’t tell if this guy is just angry or on drugs or what. His mind seems really clear, like clear and cold, you know? Ice. Like walking across Stewart Lake there just out of town there when it freezes and the ice is super clear. It’s like that. You can see everything: the lake bottom, the plants reaching up to the underside of the ice, an unlucky bastard of a fish frozen solid. That’s this guy’s mind. Except the lake is his secret. It’s all around him. 

(Schmacek) Which is? 

(Gerke) He killed someone. He killed Joel Kornbach. 

(Schmacek) That’s not possible. 

(Gerke) To kill someone? 

(Schmacek) No. Yes. I mean, you can’t, you couldn’t know who killed Kornbach. No one can. No one does. Otherwise, we’d know about it. 

(Gerke) But that’s what happened. 

(Hargrove) What happened then Tony? 

(Gerke) Yeah, so I get all that in a flash and then I’m back, the keys in my hands, the door waiting to get locked up. I glanced toward the parking lot and Susan looks up and gives me this strange look, so maybe the flash lasted longer than I thought. 

(Schmacek) I’m good. I think we’re done here, Hargrove. 

(Hargrove) We’re here already. Let’s see it through. 

(Schmacek) Fine. So what did you do then? 

(Gerke) I just locked up the store and left. 

(Hargrove) You didn’t think to call us then? 

(Gerke)  I just wanted to forget I’d ever been in his mind. And I don’t really want to get involved. It isn’t a conscious thought, but I guess I just avoid it, go on about my day. Then today. I just, I just couldn’t, man. 

(Schmacek) What about his name?  

(Gerke) Like I said, people don’t—

(Schmacek) Think their own name out loud too often. He did say that, didn’t he, Hargrove? 

(Hargrove) Yeah, Gary, he did. Tony, why did you come in today? 

(Gerke) Because I wanted to help. To, you know, find the killer. 

(Schmacek) Seriously, he’s wasting our time. This douchebag just doesn’t have anything. 

(Gerke) Wait. 

(Hargrove) You know the drill, Detective Schmacek. We get the full statement. If it’s nothing, it’s nothing. 

(Gerke) No wait. That’s something else I remember. The guy used that word a lot. 

(Hargrove) What word? 

(Gerke) Doucheb—

(Schmacek) Jesus, Hargrove don’t engage him. This guy’s off his rocker. Mr. Gerke, try to see this from our point of view. Some guy, you, comes in with this story that he can read people’s minds. He’s got no real evidence. What are we supposed to think? I’ll tell you what we think. We think you read something in the paper and thought it might be interesting, or maybe funny, to pull our chain a little bit. I think you should just confess to false statements and we’ll go easy on you. 

(Gerke) Detective Schmacek, you have a truck right?  

(Schmacek) My truck? The one in the parking lot? Yeah, I like my Chevy. Now are you done? 

(Gerke) Chevy Silverado? 

(Schmacek) Yeah. Is this your confession? I hope it’s your confession. 

(Armstrong) Just got in. Thanks for the call, Hargrove. How are we doing? 

(Hargrove) Good chief. Finishing up pretty much. 

(Armstrong) I’m Police Chief Armstrong. 

(Gerke) Hi. Hello, sir. 

(Armstrong) Let’s hear what you have to say. 

(Schmacek) He’s got nothing to say, Chief. 

(Gerke) Yes, I do. Two years ago, you were the last person to see Joel Kornbach, right Detective? 

(Schmacek) Well, now we know you got this out of the paper. The newspapers carried that story for weeks. Kornbach disappeared. It’s still an open case. 

(Gerke) What the newspapers didn’t report was that you killed him. 

(Schmacek) What the hell are you talking about? 

(Gerke) You killed him. With your tire iron. That’s why you couldn’t fix your flat last month. Had to get towed. The tire iron is with the body. 

(Schmacek) How dare you. You’ve broken one law today, asshole. Obstruction of justice. You want to add something else? Slander? 

(Armstrong) Let’s just take it down a notch. 

(Schmacek) Chief, the guy’s fucking crazy. You’ve been listening to him all day. You don’t think he’s nuts? 

(Gerke) You killed him and buried him in a field at the intersection of County Roads K and M. It’s in the next county. There’s an alfalfa field there on the northeast corner of the road. 

(Schmacek) Why don’t you shut up? That’s bullshit. Chief, that’s bullshit. 

(Gerke) Pretty deep, too. Too deep to plow up in one season. Was that to make sure he wouldn’t get plowed up too soon? 

(Armstrong) Is this true, Schmacek? 

(Schmacek) I’m stopping the tape. 

(Gerke) Your wife thought you did it. She told you that on the night she left, just two days after the murder. 

(Schmacek) How the hell do you know that? How do you know what my wife said? 

(Hargrove) Sit down, Gary. Ease up. Jesus. 

(Armstrong) Listen to your partner, Gary. 

(Gerke) Because I was in your head, Schmacek. On Tuesday night when you were having all of these thoughts. I was in your head. 

(Armstrong) Schmacek! Get off of him. I said now! 

(Schmacek) Liar! Goddam liar! 

(Armstrong) Take a break, Schmacek. No, you stay right there. We have to figure this out. We have to figure this out. 

[End of Recording]

You Have the People You Have

That’s right, you just sit down right there on the couch. Sorry, this place is a mess, but it’s been that way for a long time, and I won’t make excuses. I don’t mind at all if you record. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? The radio station sure seems interested, even after all this time. I thought no one would want to hear the words of an old lady like me, but I’m glad. I’m happy you’re here. 

Oh? I’ve never heard of a podcast, but if you say it’s something like radio, I believe you. It’s on the internet? If you say so. Can’t keep up these days. The world is changing all the time. 

Now where did you want me to start? It’s up to me is it? Well then. I suppose I’ll just start back when Father Thomas came here. That was when all this started, and you know what? People say  it’s better to know the truth. You can decide if that’s right. You’ll hear it from me, and then you can tell me whether you wanted to know. 

So the beginning? Okay. Father Thomas arrived here in Crofton. This was almost twenty-five years on now.  Father Thomas was popular with the Saint Augustus parishioners. You know the type. Young. Got personality and likes people and handsome enough that the girls can have their safe little fantasies. Good at what he does. Kind. Goes to see the old folks, the sick. That sort of priest. 

He’d had an even smaller parish in Maukegon for a year or so before that. Got on well there. Got the Crofton parish, which was a good gig for a young priest. Maybe an ambitious fella might have gone on to a small city like Ainsworth or Silver Bay. Springfield. Could even become bishop someday. 

Hold on now, this thing’s giving me trouble. Oxygen machine isn’t three months old and already I have to fiddle the dial just to get it to go. No, I don’t need help. Dial drops when it has a mind to. There. I’ve caught my breath now. 

Thomas’ own father was a veteran. Good man. Came back and started a family up north somewhere. He was a big war hero. Saved 50 men’s lives, they say. Over there in Korea. Hell of an expectation, growing up the son of a guy like that. Some of Father Thomas’ brothers went on to the service, sure enough. 

It used to be like that in those days. Big Catholic families would choose one of the boys to send off to school, seminary, the works. Some families had ten kids, some even more. One went to seminary, maybe another a trade school, the girls to work on the farm or married off or went into the sisterhood. Then that all changed. Girls didn’t want to be nuns and soon, boys didn’t want to be priests. Can’t blame them. Lot more choices these days. 

Father Thomas came up working a neighboring farm in the summers, baling hay, milking and feeding. Even went out east for a time when he was 19 and spent a summer in a coal mine. Said he wanted to know what it was like. Myself, I don’t need to go underground to decide whether I’d like that kind of thing. I think he saw out there the way most people had to live. Hand to mouth. Coal miner’s work isn’t pretty. Risks of a cave-in. Black lung. 

Crofton? Well, it was…let’s see. I suppose I need to tell you Crofton was even more—what’s the word?—insular back then. The town ran the way it ran. If you’re not from a small town you don’t know. It’s all about personalities. You might not like someone, might hate them, might know they’re a violent alcoholic or that they hate blacks, but you have to live with them. Right next to them. See them in the grocery store. Say hi. Not because everyone in town also hates blacks or likes alcoholics but because that’s just the way things are. In a small town, you have the people you have. You have to live with them. You even have to be nice to them because they’re not going anywhere, and neither are you. If you don’t, well, you won’t get along so good.

Same thing goes for the big shots in town. You don’t like the police chief? Tough titties. Got a problem the way trash is picked up? You can talk to the town council, waste management, but then you’ll get a reputation. “So-and-so is dissatisfied with the way we do things here.” Then maybe your trash doesn’t get picked up at all for awhile. I think Father Thomas didn’t understand that. Thought being a priest changed things. 

Just a few years before he came to us, a company called Gustafson Manufacturing started operating up on the ridge you can see out the window here. Hell, that’s all you see, even now. Some days you can’t see your own hand in front of your face, but I don’t get outside much anymore anyway. Company was owned by a Charlie Gustafson who was related to the mayor here in town. That’s how they got the permit to build. And the tax breaks. And the deal on the land, the access to the coal seam over there on the ridge. See, it’s all in who you know. That might have been even truer in Crofton at that time than in many other places. 

Gustafson Manufacturing, we learned, didn’t manufacture anything. They were fracking. I suppose you know what that is. That’s why you’re here. They break up the coal seam underground to get the natural gas. Then they suck it all up with a big hose. You don’t think fracking is that old, look it up. How do you think we got all that natural gas before? They started doing it in the 1800’s. That’s what I read somewhere. Gustafson was fracking before we even knew the name for it. Him and a lot of other people all over the place. 

This blasted thing. Now I need to change the tank. Can you help me with it? Just have to move this one over and then twist that on. I can’t lift it. That’s it. Thank you kindly. Now I’m huffing and puffing. Hold on a moment. 

I’m only telling you this because of the lung cancer. No, no. It’s okay. I’m—whatchacallit?—resigned to it. So there ain’t anything this town can do to me anymore. I don’t have kids and most of my friends are dead. They come for me, they can have me. 

We felt the quakes almost right away. The quakes and the noise. I never expected the noise. You talked to Don Fredrick? Well, good. Then you know what I’m talking about. When his basement fell in and half the house with it, that’s when the town council started to rethink what they’d signed away. Of course, the contract said Gustafson could operate for fifty years. 

See, the mining contract didn’t say anything about individual damages. Gustafson was immune from liability. Father Thomas got involved, settled Don and his wife Marsha up in Stafford. That’s a few miles northeast if you’re not familiar. Broke Don and Marsha’s hearts to lose that house. They weren’t far from paying it off either. That was the clincher. Their son Benny couldn’t do much for them. He was manager at the auto parts store in town. Not well-off by a long shot. Benny offered his folks a room at his house, but they were too proud or didn’t want to be a burden, whatever. 

Well, Benny got mad. Mad about his parents’ house. Mad at Gustafson. Mad at the town, the mayor. But he couldn’t do anything about it. Like I said, Gustafson was untouchable. Then I guess something got into Benny. One drunken night, he dropped a road flare down into the coal seam, hoping, I suppose, to sabotage Gustafson’s business.

Do you know what happens when coal catches fire underground? It burns hot and stinking and it doesn’t stop. Smolders down there. Impossible to know when it’ll quit. I suppose you know all that. You just have to look around town. 

Benny damn near caught the whole county on fire. That seam shot flame like a hose. The Crofton Fire. Everybody knows about that, but not everybody knows about Father Thomas and what happened. Just folks from town. The ones who haven’t made themselves forget. 

You can see the smoke all around us, of course. It’s been here for years now, likely will be here for decades. That ridge used to be a destination. Picnics and whatnot. Now it’s just an open wound. The earth, I mean. Where it’s torn open and still smoking. May as well be my own heart. 

The fire smoked out this whole town, so there wasn’t more than a few dozen people left, including me. They say the air in Crofton is worse than in Beijing. That’s a fact. Worse because it does something to the lungs. Something permanent. Like I said before. Black lung. That’s what happened to us. 

After the fire, people started asking questions. About Benny of course, but that was easy. He’s in jail and will be there as long as I’m alive. Gustafson got his share of questions, too, but once again that mining contract was an unbreakable shield. I suppose we could have fought harder.

Father Thomas was here for all of it. He resettled most of the people himself. Made calls, got the diocese involved, raised money. The archbishop himself came to visit. So did our senator. Lot of good those two did. They made speeches, but in the end they had nothing to do or say about the contract. 

Thomas started preaching about forgiveness, but after a few Sundays he stopped. Said he didn’t have the stomach for it. Said from the pulpit that Gustafson had destroyed the town, that the mining contract was flawed and that the town should take action. He said justice hadn’t been served. 

Then Father Thomas found out something that Gustafson didn’t want him to. There were holes from exploratory drilling all around town. A few of us townspeople discovered them in different places. Gustafson had a fracking contract for the ridge but nothing else. Wasn’t supposed to do any non-authorized drilling. Did it anyway. Brazenly. Isn’t that funny? Man gets an iron-clad contract with everything he wants but still isn’t satisfied. Human nature, that is. 

As I said, Father Thomas wasn’t new to mining. Had done it himself. He knew what to look for.  He saw Gustafson was looking for copper, nickel, platinum, that sort of thing. The drilling had been done on private property, on the lots and land of those who’d left town but who, importantly, still had ownership. So there was liability there for Gustafson. Finally. Not much, but maybe enough. 

Father Thomas told us he would make a deal with Gustafson, that he had a meeting one night at Gustafson’s mobile office up there on the ridge at the coal seam. To make some sort of deal with him. He said if Gustafson funded a cleanup of the fire damage, paid for resettlement for the remaining people in town then we could all look the other way on that drilling. But after that night, we never saw Father Thomas again. 

What happened to him? That’s the question. We didn’t know what to make of it. Sure, Father Thomas could’ve left town. He could’ve just taken off on us and that explains his disappearance. But if you think that, then where is he? Should’ve turned up somewhere. Wasn’t that kind of man. The kind to run. 

It became clear to those of us in town that Gustafson had got rid of him. Maybe even pushed him right into that coal seam to burn to a crisp. A week after, Gustafson sent word to the rest of us who remained in town. He said he’s pay us for the damage, the smoke, the fire. It was a damn good lump sum. But we knew hush money when we saw it. Even had us sign something called a ‘non-disclosure’. Aren’t supposed to say anything about the drilling, about the fire, about anything. We all signed it. I signed it. 

Why? Well, I—no I’m okay. I just need to rest a moment. I’m getting too worked up. No,no—it’s okay. I can keep going. 

I suppose I signed it because I signed it. I could say it was easier, and it was. I could say Gustafson put the screws on us, and he did. But I think I signed because in my heart I’m a coward. I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to go through whatever legal wrangling we had available to us, to roll the dice on whether anything positive would happen. Somehow, I didn’t want to put in the work. It wasn’t just fear. It was cowardice. 

That’s how I kept this house. That big check we each got. That’s how I can afford this machine and the medical bills and all that. And Gustafson? Well, he’s off south now, I heard. Whatever money he might have lost here, I have no doubt he’s made it up many times over. Father Thomas shouldn’t have stuck his neck out that way. A real good man. 

His family has an open case on his disappearance, but it has come to nothing. The police have interviewed us in town here, but most were too scared to say anything, to go against Gustafson, to even mention the meeting on the ridge. I guess I’m not scared anymore. Maybe I’ll tell them something now, as much good as it will do. 

I’m glad I told you. It’s like a weight lifted. Like a blessing, your call was. I told my side of the story. I told you who Gustafson really was—and, I suppose, who I am, too. 

Forgiveness? Well, I don’t have much of that left in me. Not for Gustafson. Forgiveness for me? Honey, there’s no one alive or dead who’ll forgive me.